Even if she was just a pet rat my heart has been broken since I lost her. The only thing that she ever wanted from us is affection and a bit of food. She always understood that whatever we were eating was rightfully hers as well (lemons, cinnamon twists, turkey sandwiches, etc). We always understood that she felt this way. She was mischievous but never malicious. Even when she mistook our fingers for a piece of food she was still gentle. Gentle, loving, and caring were the best ways to describe her and her sister.
I have had pets my whole life off and on, but I have never had a pet that understood so well how to show affection towards her parents. I would come home and look at her and she always looked like she wanted to come out and play with us. Both her and her sister found ways to escape their cage not so they could run around the house, but so they could jump into bed with us.
I guess that I was setting myself up for heartbreak when we bought those two, I knew they did not live long. Regardless, they both captured my heart and made me feel so happy when I was sad. I don't know what heaven is or if the afterlife is anything like what is said. What I do know is that if there is a heaven I want Bella and Sayouri to be there. Sayouri broke my heart with the look she gave me with our last goodbye. I just have a feeling that she was there when Bella was almost gone. I think she came down to her and told her that it was time. I thought Bella had passed on, I couldn't hear or feel her heartbeat and her eyes were closed. But in Stacy's arms, she opened her eyes, reached out her hand and grabbed Stacy's finger to say her last goodbye. In those two rats I saw God. I know that they too were Atman and a part of this world. I don't know if I have ever been this upset at something in my entire life. Some might say that I must have a charmed life. But really it just says how much something so small, so innocent, so loving, so caring, and so wonderful two amazing creatures can be.
Thank you to anybody who reads this because it has broken my hear to write it. Appreciate the small things like pets and love and anything that makes you smile. Don't take these things for granted. No matter what, when they are gone, you probably think that you did just as I feel I did. Even though I told them everyday that I love them.
Bella and Sayouri, I miss both of you. The way you smelled, your fur, your cheetoh colored teeth, your affection, your OCD cleaning of each other and us, your 4:30 am bedroom visits, your excitement, your hands wrapped around your cage bars like you were in jail, you stealing our food, you letting me play the pied piper at 7:00 am, the happiness that you brought your crazy parents, and so on. This is my goodbye to you for now, but I look forward to meeting you again when I come up to heaven.
Take care everybody.
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